Mean Baby

Starred review from June 6, 2022
Actor Blair revisits in this bold and candid debut her odyssey through addiction, trauma, and illness. Born in 1972 in Detroit, Blair was labeled as a “mean baby” for the “judgemental, scrutinizing” look she perpetually wore. As she reveals, this pained expression would seemingly foretell the fraught childhood and adolescence to come—from binge drinking throughout her youth to escape hurtful put-downs from her mother (“How can you be so beautiful from one angle and so ugly full face?”) to suffering depressive episodes after being sexually assaulted in ninth grade by her school’s dean. Later, after a suicide attempt in college, she was raped during a spring break weekend. Blair’s recollections are harrowing, but they affectingly set the stage for a story of triumphing over one’s afflictions as she chronicles her path to becoming an actor. After months of struggle in her early 20s, Blair landed an agent and went on to star in Cruel Intentions (1999) and Legally Blonde (2001) before having her first child and, years later, receiving a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2018. Nevertheless, Blair, in her typical fashion, finds a way to transform her burden into an opportunity, sharing her experience of living with MS with astounding candor and grace. This compassionate and intelligent work will leave fans floored.

June 15, 2022
An acclaimed actor reflects on her life, film career, and diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2018. Born outside of Detroit in 1972, Blair earned the nickname "mean baby" for the "judgmental, scrutinizing" expression she wore on her face from the day she was born. In fact, she was a "sensitive soul" who felt judged by others--in particular, her demanding, sometimes-cruel mother. At 7, Blair developed a taste for alcohol at a family Passover celebration and drank in secret after that, reveling in the feeling of "safety" alcohol gave her. She also suffered awful abuse. "I have been raped, multiple times," she writes, "because I was too drunk to say the words 'Please. Stop.' " A troubled teen, she continued to take refuge in drinking but also discovered a passion for literature and drama. After a suicide attempt in college, Blair found her footing in acting. She moved to New York City, where, after a year of struggle, she found an agent and landed her first movie role. Drinking and toxic relationships took their tolls, and she entered rehab in Michigan before moving to Los Angeles. An unexpected invitation to play a role in the 1999 film Cruel Intentions brought her fame. However, the binge-drinking continued, as did a series of unhealthy relationships (one of which turned into a short-lived marriage) and mysterious pains that racked her body. "I could feel it growing and spreading," she writes, "but I had no idea what it was." Single motherhood helped her curb drinking, but her fatigue and neuralgia intensified. A lifelong spiritual seeker who sought out psychics to help her make sense of her life, Blair finally received an answer to explain the physical roots of her pain: multiple sclerosis. Though the narrative occasionally meanders, the author offers a sharp, memorable account of her roles as celebrity and MS advocate that will have wide appeal to both fans and general readers alike. A moving and eloquent memoir.

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Starred review from May 15, 2022
Actress Selma Blair always thought of herself as a sidekick or character actress, never a leading lady, but in this illuminating and authentic memoir, she takes center stage as the teller of her own story--something rarely afforded to a child relegated to, and decidedly living up to, the role of ""Mean Baby."" Young Selma wants nothing more than her mother's approval, but she resorts to bad behavior after instead receiving her mother's taunting--laughing at Selma's fright from watching a scary movie, or calling her award-winning poem drivel. Alcohol becomes a coping mechanism starting at a young age, and something Blair will continue to struggle with for years. What she doesn't realize for decades is that she likely used it to cover up issues relating to MS, a diagnosis she receives in her forties, when she also learns that doctors believe she may have been battling the disease for twenty years. The book's first and third parts, covering her childhood and her MS diagnosis (along with the birth of her son), respectively, are spellbinding. While the middle section that follows her career lags at times, it does little to take away from Blair's compelling story and remarkably good writing.

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